November 19, 2009
I’m trying to make a therapeutic list of reasons why I’m getting panic attacks at work or when I’m in line somewhere, or when I’m even driving down the street.
Hmpf. This November should have been a relaxing month, where I’m enjoying RPattz at the movies.
But instead.
1) We have to move.
In order to receive cash for keys, an incentive to get us out of here quicker and would help us finance the move ( we need it!), all has to happen asap. But I can’t find “the one” and it’s all really hectic and I won’t be a big help since I still can’t lift heavy things.
2) Work is high pressure
Both T and I are super busy and can’t help each other out, really. I’m trying to encourage him and offer help but in reality, it’s just pep talk.
3) Missed a lot of work
As the caretaker of details, I’m driving around town to check out stuff so I haven’t been in much, resulting in work piling up. And Thanksgiving is not helping since I have to take off. And I had to pay my hospital bills etc. bleh
4) JLPT is waiting for me
On December 6th, and I feel bad cause T had to book a very bad flight in order to be there for the JLPT and make it to a meeting in Japan on time. Also, I don’t have time to study as much as I want to.
5) This is lame but – I’m almost finished with some artwork and wanted to use a discount coupon on the framing that expires soon. But now my embroidery machine is starting to act up again. On the last dang piece!
Actually, I’m already feeing better hehe. Well not really. But anyways…back to the grind.
November 11, 2009
The gallery artist’s reception went well. It’s a lovely place in Long Beach and I’ll continue proposing artwork for exhibition there. They do things a little differently, where most of the exhibitions are made up through some sort of “competition” system and it’s fun. There’s artists from all walks of life and all ages. Some looked really serious and “artsy” and then some were “doing it on the side” like me more or less.
They give out awards each exhibition and I was quite moved about their statement about death and loss, seeing that the theme was the Dia de los Muertos. There was wine and food outside and a live band. All in all a great evening.
–
Tomorrow, our apartment is facing foreclosure – we’re renting so we hope the new owner will let us stay. But we got ushered out of our old place, too, once it was sold so I’m pessimistic. Moving now would royally suck since T is leaving for Japan again in December and then me and the boys head out for cold ass Germany after that.
Swine flu is going round close by, but we haven’t had any effects yet. I still believe that Yuma and I may have had it unknowingly last June. First he was so miserable for a whole week and then I was sick as a dog afterwards and found myself reading the entire Twilight saga, having a fever for several days in a row.
November 6, 2009
We finished reading “Order of the Phoenix” and started our movie viewing session. I have to cut the movie in halves tho cause it is too long for Luca.
But dang, do they have to make the dementors this scary? They even changed them to make them more scary compared to last time. Snape, my favourite, was cool as always.
Heard rumors today that RPattz would be crowned sexiest man alive. Despite all his efforts to appear unsexy and unwashed, this is what he gets hehehehe.
–
Tuesday the doc said the anesthesiologist would give me a call about the mishap before surgery. He never called – of course. I guess he put me to the test about how bothersome I will be (“Call me if he doesn’t call you and I will remind him again”) and much rather called his insurance/lawyer about if his ass is covered.
T asked me not to cause a scene. Because I filed a complaint once about a doctor and it resulted in flurry of “scenes”. Most, if not all of them, I now consider hormonal, and I am sorry about that.
This time, friends of my family back home were able to explain to me what may have happened and that yes it must have sucked but no, I was not in danger (“just” paralyzed with curare and then intubated). And being entirely non hormonal these days, I let it go.
–
T comes home today from the east coast and as usual airport drama ensued. Because I don’t see why I have to make an airport run with everyone in tow on a FRIDAY EVENING when it is pure chaos over there on top of our already annoying commute. This would result in a good 2 hours driving session. Told T to bugger off and get a cab, after all he can charge it on the work-card and he was only gone for 3 days for Pete’s sake.
November 5, 2009
Normal life back at full swing, even though “swing” is the wrong expressions for it. Not swinging at all. Work, errands, kids and studying eats up time, the little bit that is left at night is usually spent in a state of comatose. I do not like that the weeks are passing by with an ever increasing speed.
What does it say about me that I’m looking forward to New Moon? Seriously, i’m gonna go to the movies for that. That kind of romance usually takes my mind off things for weeks. T is outta town and will be again so in December, so I’m just going with the flow at my own pace.
Meanwhile I dreamed at night that I was making out with a certain person I know IRL and it makes seeing him so awkward lol. And the worst part – I had a similar dream before, with the same guy. Rest assured I have no ambition to ever make it a reality though – so why the weird dream?
RPattz baby, dont be so shy!
November 2, 2009
It’s true. Who else has 4 major surgeries on their midesction by the age of 32? My stomach is a battlefield.
Amazingly, I am back at work again. It seemed like a place far far away in some other galaxy. But I went back here after all.
It may have been the pain killers, which I didn’t take anymore at all since Thursday, but everything was just a pile of meaninglessness. Funny how humans coax themselves back into believing that life is fun, things are OK, things mean something. That there is meaning in getting up in the morning.
I really really did not see any meaning in that last week.
But I guess some magical hormones keep us going, otherwise we’d be extinct since several million years. So here I am, back at taking the most mundane things seriously, actually enjoying myself.
Tomorrow I get the thread pulled out of the 2″ incision, and finally someone can explain to me why I have a scar in the first place (this was supposed to be laparoscopic).
And I hope for some explanation regarding why I was freaking paralyzed while conscious in the OR at the beginning of the surgery. What the heck was up with that??
October 29, 2009
Today is the day where I’m going to get better — at least I’m trying to tell myself so. I’ve been sitting at home in a whiny stupor the past few days cause it started to really hurt after a while.
Not nearly as bad as a crappy c-section but it’s quite strong. But today I will go for a walk…seriously (positive thinking is the first step to action ?).
Discovered that it wasn’t laparoscopic but I sport a 2 inch scar over my bellybutton from what I can see. That makes 4 fat incisions on my stomach…one more, one less who cares, right?
Been doing most things around the house OK so things aren’t as out of order as we feared they would be.
October 26, 2009
Luca and Yuma gave me one abdominal hernia each around my bellybutton. And since a few weeks ago, I got scared that ObamaCare™ would make it harder for me to fix this in the future, I decided to do it now.
After a month of anticipation, today finally was the day.
I had general anesthesia before when I was 10 and boy was I so hung over from it. It wasn’t until early evening (morning surgery) that I could even grasp what is happening.
So a “same day surgery” sounded unreal. Had stress spasms over the weekend and slept a glorious 2 hrs before I had to get up at 4am to be at the hospital at 5.30.
Took a cab so nobody had to get up with me but ended up envying those who had company.
The nurse took me to the OR a bit too quickly, the anesthesiologist didn’t even inject the sedative yet. So he injected that one on the fly and put on the mask, then injecting the “real” stuff almost immediately.
It was crazy from that moment on. I went blind and my breathing stopped against my will. I could clearly hear the anesthesiologist telling me I was alright but I could not see or move, even though I tried to scream “I can’t breathe, I can breathe”! Chest was not moving. I’m kind of sad cause I clearly remember all of it and I wonder if that is how it feels when you die. Thankfully, I went out after a few seconds that seemed forever.
And -oh wonder- I awoke only 2 hours later. I was saying some gibberish to the nurse (about how to spell my name lol) but soon I had my senses together and was feeling OK.
T picked me up at 12, along with a few more “you guys are married?” moments from the staff.
Cause the nurses were looking for a Japanese wife to match with T, walking past my little curtain area, and my nurse sent some white dude to my bed.
And then, a Japanese volunteer called my (Japanese) last name and totally looked past me, THE ONLY ONE SITTING IN THE WHEELCHAIR READY TO BE WHEELED OUT, obviously looking for an Asian woman.
T is always insanely bothered by this, I think it is funny to give people such an “Aha!” moment and a lil’ embarrassment.
Come on people! It’s 2009.
A week from now, my new belly button will be unveiled. Until then I took the whole week off!
October 19, 2009
This is the second weekend spent with my parents, and it was supposed to be the main trip. As usual, things totally fell apart around midway through the weekend, resulting with T staying somewhere else last night and us not being on speaking terms. This is a phenomenon that commonly occurs when my parents are visiting or we are visiting Germany.
Saturday was spent in San Diego’s old town. I had not expected the masses of people there. OMG! I thought we would have a relaxing walking tour but we were just trekking through the streets along with thousands of other people.
The Whaley House was zero ghostly, no chance to get a spooky feeling when people are pushing and shoving each other through the narrow hallways (the rooms themselves are sealed off with see through plastic so you can only look inside. The guides dropped a few scary stories on us but it was more like “meh whatever”.
After very little good night’s sleep at Motel 6, we went to the SD Zoo, which was supposed to be relaxing.
BUT this turned out very stressful, too. Even more people! We lost the kids several times. Then T started his classic behaviour of “I’m sulking now!” and started lagging behind, pretending not to belong to us.
Next thing you know he’s totally lost in the maze that is the SD Zoo. I thought it was good riddance and dragged everyone on to finish the tour.
By the time T caught up with us he was even more sulky. He drove home like a maniac and at home we had a nice argument, in which T played the power card, the minority card and the depression card. Then he decided to go out somewhere. Again, good riddance cause I was very busy preparing for the week ahead and let Yum try out his new scooter.
Because yep, it had been his birthday! 4 years!
The photo is a bit weird because we had to do a quick b-day session before leaving for SD. Yuma got all the things he wished for and then some, very happy 
At a church Yard in SD
Those peeps were actually part of a group that visited SD old town
Dia de los muertes altar in SD
On of the pandas..
Yuma the puma
Luca was hoping to see real kiwi birds. He is OBSESSED with kiwis. But sadly, they had their habitat, but no kiwis anymore…
The boyz
So this room in the Whaley House, the guide said that the other day, a visitor said “so what is your colleague doing in the room now?” When at the time there was supposedly no other guide in the house. But the visitor claimed that he saw some man dressed in the same manner (all guides wore old fashioned clothes), and he was digging around as if looking for sth. in the desk back at the window.
Mind you the room is sealed with those see through plastic shields.
October 14, 2009
As I wrote before I am quite interested in the Savoie case. Unfortunately, interest in the case has shown me how bad and fake some journalism is.
Example 1: Savoie’s mistress hears from someone that the conditions in a Japanese jail resemble “torture”. The headline then reads “SAVOIE TORTURED IN JAPANESE JAIL!”
When the Japanese officials make it CLEAR that everything is happening within boundaries of law, that CS is not bein deprived of sleep, that he does get medical attention etc.
Example 2: Savoie’s mistress hears a rumor that someone said that CS is considering a hunger strike. Headline reads “AMERICAN DAD CONSIDERS HUNGERSTRIKE”.
Fact is, CS is still not American. Neither is his wife – a little fact that still keeps on being not cleared up.
Savoie knows the legal system in Japan, he lived there 14 years and now acts like he never knew what he got himself into.
A lot of “journalists”are using copy/paste for their articles on the case and s false information is spreading.
Especially newschannel5.com is making up absurd stories. I “can’t wait” for their next installment, where CS’ mistress is reading a whiny letter from jail on the air. Boo effin’ hoo.
There are much more noteworthy cases to be found here: http://www.crnjapan.net/The_Japan_Childrens_Rights_Network/res-perstor.html that really need the media’s attention.
Savoie?
Again: boo effin’ hoo.
October 13, 2009
My parents are in town for 2 weeks and we’ve already had one very active weekend. The always classic trip to the Huntington Library and then the other classic trip to the Getty Center were one thing, with an add on of climbing the highest vista point of Runyon Canyon.
After that I took a shortcut sliding down the trail on my butt when I was trying to demonstrate how to properly descend a steep, sandy surface. Ouch!
Nest weekend we are heading down to San Diego. Never been there myself so…
I wasn’t too excited but then I found out the area we will visit has a haunted house (The Whaley House) so I’m IN.
They have a night tour from 12.30-2 am but that’s the night before so- bummer. But I am sure it will be fun nevertheless.
First time in a haunted house (not counting the fake Queen Mary tour) so I’m soooo excited.
Here are some more photos from the Whaley House:
http://paranormalphotos.tripod.com/id30.html
